Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Be the change you want to see - Yelling less

From time immortal (roughly around 5 Years) , my little one (now 6.5 year old) has been watching phone or tablet or laptop while eating or being fed. I know its not her fault that she was introduced to these gadgets and the gadgets acted as baby sitters. But this habit of hers was getting onto my nerves now, cos even for eating a biscuit or drinking milk or juice she would demand phone! It was as if she was doing a big favour on me by eating or drinking!
I could take it no more, since this had started affecting her eye sight and also her behaviour . I decided that this needs to stop!
So some two weeks back I told her that from now onwards we are not watching phone, tv tablet or anything while eating. I was really mad at her. She said ok mama, but with pure innocence she said "How?" . I was like I am so mad at her and still she is asking me how! Yes I can be irrational sometimes. But when I cooled down, I understood her question. Because if we  go back to our same setup of having meal (sitting in front of tv on sofa, since I am watching tv while eating and simultaneously feeding ) she will definitely ask for phone!
So I decided, we will have dinner, lunch in our room, we will not sit on sofa, instead I took out my yoga mat and told her we both will sit down here and eat. Normally I will serve one plate for both of us, since I am feeding her. But I really want her to start eating on her own and be independent, hence I served two separate plates. We sat on the mat and I told how she can feed herself.
It wasnt easy, I can tell you!
She does not understand how she can take a chapati bite along with the dry sabji and dip it in daal, so we started with basics. Next she would get bored of eating in absence of a distraction, so will not eat much. I have to coax or threaten her sometimes to eat a little bit more. Then sometimes tiredness or sleep would creep in, and she would be so dull while chewing, god give me the patience to handle it..we are not there yet ...but on the way..wish us luck friends!

I am really impressed and have been reading all posts from a fellow blogger Shailaja on how she took up the challege of yelling less at her daughter. I can so much relate to her struggle, triumphs, angst..it has motivated me to embark on a journey myself. So friends I would try to yell less on my daughter for the next week.. Thanks Shailaja..love

image source: google


  1. Hugs, Lavina. I am so glad that you've embarked on this journey. It's so wonderful that you've begun early! I started very late, when my daughter turned 7. The good news is kids are amazingly capable of forgiveness. The bad news is we tend to take it for granted and repeat our negative behaviours.

    Baby steps and don't worry. You've got this. One week is wonderful. It's a short goal and I am more than certain that you will be able to sustain this, going forward.

    Lots of love, Shailaja.

  2. Wow wow that's so amazing.. I can totally relate didi.. Wish you all the best.. You are my one super-gal and I m sure Saachi feels the same too.. :*

  3. Thank you so much dear for your encouragement.. I am just a little bit early.. My daughter is 6.5 years now.. I tried to keep in mind not to yell last evening... But it's not easy.. Hats off to you for pulling it out! :)

  4. Great that you are now spending quality meal times with her instead. I hate it when I see toddlers being entertained in cafes/restaurants with tablets.

  5. It's like you telling story of my home. Getting some inspiration from you post to try and change my behavior as well.

  6. You are doing it right and Absolutely I have been there done it ! I involve my son (yr7) in setting up dinner table we make sure we lunch and dine together, this strenghthens our bond ! Gadgets a part of their life but having structured time for it will help both...
    wishing you both success !!


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